Friday, April 29, 2011

Don’t Be Crazy

“Success is the greatest revenge.” – Unknown

This is the quote I always remember when a relationship ends. I use it in general when someone makes me want to strangle them or cut their brake cables, but I use this especially when my heart is all messed up.

This section is going to recognize the importance of keeping your cool, or giving the illusion of it, when your heart is smashed by a baseball bat. (Not literally of course. If that happens go to an emergency room. ASAP)

During a break-up period you may have a variety of negative emotions, such as anger, sadness, disappointment, embarrassment, and regret. There may also be some positive ones, like relief or even happiness. The awful thing is we never know when these emotions are going to arrive and EVERY break-up is different. Unfortunately with an array of emotions occurring, a variety of destructive behaviours can arise, as well.

Tips To Avoid Seeming Insane:
1. Do not call 100 times in a day. Whether you leave messages, hang up after the first ring or talk to them every time, do NOT do this. When they or the voicemail answers “Please just f*ck off already” chances are they want you to do just that.
2. Do not leave them 100 text messages. No “I love you.” No “I miss you.” No “You are the most inconsiderate asshole on the planet and I hope you get raped by Satan.” No anything. Not for a while anyways, unless you live together and need your stuff back. Even at that, no ANGRY text messages. Anger is usually interpreted as unstable.
3. Do not camp on their lawn.
4. Do not show up at their work place/friend’s house/new partner’s place/anywhere you KNOW they are. Giving other people reason to believe that their buddy needs a restraining order against you is not the most ideal thing to do.
5. Do not engrave their name into any of your body parts. This is not flattering to them.
6. Do not hit them, yell at them or pull a gun/weapon on them. All of this is technically assault and/or harassment. Just an FYI.
7. Do not Facebook/call/text/communicate with their family. That is just creepy and totally inappropriate. Be an adult not an idiot.
8. Do not steal their belongings, keys, mail, cell phone or dog. Yeah, don’t even steal a glimpse through your binoculars you freak.
9. Do not play mind games. If you broke up with them, do not give them false hope and hurt them further. That is just mean, nasty, manipulative, stupid, rude, inconsiderate, fucked up, shitty, dumb… get my point?
10. Just leave them the F alone!

So get yourself away from your phone. Go hang out with friends or family. Read a freaking self-help book. (I recommend “It’s Called a Break-Up Because It Is Broken”- Greg Berhant) Do ANYTHING to get you back together and distracted. I don’t encourage prostitution, drugs or substance abuse though.

Just keep remembering the quote at the beginning of this submission because if you behave like a lunatic, you will be seen as a lunatic. So make your partner regret breaking-up with you by showing that you do not need them to succeed, but that you used the break-up for self-improvement. If you were the heart-breaker, they probably deserved to be dumped, so show them that you rock by not being a bitch.

SELF IMPROVEMENT IS NECESSARY FOR SUCCESS, SO DO IT. YOU’LL BE GLAD YOU TOOK THE HIGH ROAD. (…unless you are actually a psychopath and are keeping your ex in your freezer. Good luck with that.)

*This blog post is directed toward both males and females. I know the examples above seem a little extreme, but I have heard of people actually doing these things or had ex partners who have partaken in the fun. It happens. Don’t be that guy/girl.*

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