Saturday, April 30, 2011

***Winter Storm Warning***

Winter storm warning my ass. It is a fucking blizzard outside! Three days ago I was lying in the sun, in my bikini, on my balcony and today I had to chip ice off of my windshield after a freaking night shift. No mittens on, by the way. Didn’t think I needed them in the spring time! Good fucking morning to you too, Mother Nature.

I saw one accident happen with a van sliding into the side of the hospital rail. I almost got stuck after dropping of my co-worker at home. He had walked to work before all the snow bullshit happened. Thank-God today I will be sleeping the entire time so that I can be refreshed for my night shift tonight.

The wind is so bad right now it is literally rumbling my building and tossing branches around outside. This is APRIL 30TH!!! It is almost May! This is absolutely ridiculous! The flooding happening around here is off the charts and farmers haven’t even been able to start seeding. This is going to cause one hell of an epidemic.

This is depressing. Not impressed.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Don’t Be Crazy

“Success is the greatest revenge.” – Unknown

This is the quote I always remember when a relationship ends. I use it in general when someone makes me want to strangle them or cut their brake cables, but I use this especially when my heart is all messed up.

This section is going to recognize the importance of keeping your cool, or giving the illusion of it, when your heart is smashed by a baseball bat. (Not literally of course. If that happens go to an emergency room. ASAP)

During a break-up period you may have a variety of negative emotions, such as anger, sadness, disappointment, embarrassment, and regret. There may also be some positive ones, like relief or even happiness. The awful thing is we never know when these emotions are going to arrive and EVERY break-up is different. Unfortunately with an array of emotions occurring, a variety of destructive behaviours can arise, as well.

Tips To Avoid Seeming Insane:
1. Do not call 100 times in a day. Whether you leave messages, hang up after the first ring or talk to them every time, do NOT do this. When they or the voicemail answers “Please just f*ck off already” chances are they want you to do just that.
2. Do not leave them 100 text messages. No “I love you.” No “I miss you.” No “You are the most inconsiderate asshole on the planet and I hope you get raped by Satan.” No anything. Not for a while anyways, unless you live together and need your stuff back. Even at that, no ANGRY text messages. Anger is usually interpreted as unstable.
3. Do not camp on their lawn.
4. Do not show up at their work place/friend’s house/new partner’s place/anywhere you KNOW they are. Giving other people reason to believe that their buddy needs a restraining order against you is not the most ideal thing to do.
5. Do not engrave their name into any of your body parts. This is not flattering to them.
6. Do not hit them, yell at them or pull a gun/weapon on them. All of this is technically assault and/or harassment. Just an FYI.
7. Do not Facebook/call/text/communicate with their family. That is just creepy and totally inappropriate. Be an adult not an idiot.
8. Do not steal their belongings, keys, mail, cell phone or dog. Yeah, don’t even steal a glimpse through your binoculars you freak.
9. Do not play mind games. If you broke up with them, do not give them false hope and hurt them further. That is just mean, nasty, manipulative, stupid, rude, inconsiderate, fucked up, shitty, dumb… get my point?
10. Just leave them the F alone!

So get yourself away from your phone. Go hang out with friends or family. Read a freaking self-help book. (I recommend “It’s Called a Break-Up Because It Is Broken”- Greg Berhant) Do ANYTHING to get you back together and distracted. I don’t encourage prostitution, drugs or substance abuse though.

Just keep remembering the quote at the beginning of this submission because if you behave like a lunatic, you will be seen as a lunatic. So make your partner regret breaking-up with you by showing that you do not need them to succeed, but that you used the break-up for self-improvement. If you were the heart-breaker, they probably deserved to be dumped, so show them that you rock by not being a bitch.

SELF IMPROVEMENT IS NECESSARY FOR SUCCESS, SO DO IT. YOU’LL BE GLAD YOU TOOK THE HIGH ROAD. (…unless you are actually a psychopath and are keeping your ex in your freezer. Good luck with that.)

*This blog post is directed toward both males and females. I know the examples above seem a little extreme, but I have heard of people actually doing these things or had ex partners who have partaken in the fun. It happens. Don’t be that guy/girl.*

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Things I Enjoy

I was skimming through some blogs and saw some people had lists about things that bring them peace or happiness. I also got a comment about the benefits of making lists. I happen to make them all of the time (which you may have noticed that all of my blogs have a list of something) and thought, “Why not make a list of things that bring me joy?” So cheers to my optimistic side. Just for my own reminder that not all of life is horrible.

Personal Reminders of Good:
1. Arriving at a hotel room at the beginning of a vacation
2. Cherry ‘Slush-Puppies’
3. Cuddling
4. Jokes that make me laugh out loud
5. Travelling to a new destination
6. Talking about myself (shocker!)
7. Counselling
8. Organizing
9. Cleaning
10. Writing Music
11. Taking an amazing photograph
12. Butterflies when I first start dating someone
13. Finishing a really good Self-Help book
14. Budgeting / Saving Money
15. The feeling I get after I finish a good workout
16. Making lists
17. Blogging
18. Cranking my music while driving down the highway and singing as loud as I can
19. Planning trips
20. Calling and chatting with my family
21. Dancing like a complete idiot
22. Chips and Dip
23. Learning how to help the environment
24. Sitting in the combine (for a short period)
25. Hearing Thank-You from a stranger when you help them out
26. Hearing from an old friend or acquaintance (someone I like of course)
27. McDonald’s Food
28. Finishing a task and erasing it off of my white board
29. Watching my favorite TV shows
30. Buying something I have been looking forward too
31. Finishing a creative project
32. Hugs from my parents
33. Praise for my accomplishments
34. Finishing a course
35. Being right in a debate
36. Being at a sporting event
37. Meeting new people
38. Ending a shift at work
39. Gardens with lots of flowers and lights
40. Dating
41. Talking about trips taken
42. Standing at the top of a tall building
43. Sharing my music
44. The number 44
45. Singing in front of a croud

*I'm sure I'll add more as they arrise :)*

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Reasons for What Happen

“I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it.” –Maya Angeleu

Everyone has heard the saying, “Everything happens for a reason.” I honestly have used it way too often, but for many years it has helped me accept some of my misfortunes. Unfortunately the saying just isn’t cutting it anymore. I have officially become too unmotivated to come up with creative reasons for the calamities that tend to follow me.

Lazy Reasoning:
1. I pissed off Karma.
2. Gaining strength to handle harder situations.
3. Learning a lesson.

Yeah, pretty creative stuff. I used to be so damn good at finding the “reasoning” behind all of the shit that happened. Then again, people who hurt me sure find great “excuses” to throw my way. (By the way, there is a HUGE difference between excuses and reasons. You can ask me about it if you really care to know.)

So now my big thing is the beginning of the serenity prayer. For those who don’t know it, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.” I say that minus “God.” (I’m agnostic, so basically undecided on religion. Sorry if eliminating His name offends anyone.)

So now if something rude, awful, painful, sad, and hurtful and all that jazz happen, I just consciously tell myself to let it go. Fuck, how can continually thinking about the REASON it happened going to help me move on faster? It won’t. I will learn lessons from my mistakes, as well as others mistakes, collect good Karma, and gain wisdom or strenth no matter what goes down.

Life is a bitch, but I can be too, so better to just get over the past and try to rock my future!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Truth Untold

Truth Untold

Little bits of trust flake off,
as a new story begins to unfold.
Please bring words of reality
if the truth has been untold.

Do not tell me what I want to hear,
may as well just smash the lie.
Maybe you know what the future holds,
that my faith in you will die.

You cannot hide behind your betrayal,
for speech is invisible you see.
Those eggshells in which you walk upon,
I feel you underestimate me.

Over thinking every detail,
unable to move past the hurt.
Wasting my time with this paranoid mind,
desperately filtering the dirt.

Trapped within a distracting pain,
my focus is out of control.
Each puzzle piece seeps into my head
about the truth that has been untold.


(Copyright 2009)

Monday, April 25, 2011

Don`t Ask Why I Do What I Do

``If you choose the behaviour, you choose the consequences that come with the behaviour. ``- My Mom (She heard it somewhere)

I am not a dumbass. I at times do dumbass things, but I am not an idiot. Sadly, all of my stupid choices revolve around the male species, but that is beside the point. I am really glad my mom told me this quote. Not only does this refer to my behaviours, but it also works toward people I choose to be around.
But back to the heading, I don`t like when people ask me why I do things and the quote at the top is why. I accept that I have to deal with my consequences.

Annoying Question Examples:
1. Why do you not cook foods instead of getting microwavable meals?
2. Why do you travel so much?
3. Why do you budget so anally?
4. How can you even stay with that loser?

UHHHHH… because I it is just what I have chosen! It seems as though every time someone questions me about my decision making abilities, I just want to turn and throat punch them (still don`t fight so I would never do that). I mean, I know that some people genuinely want to know this information or want to help me out, but the ones who ask me to then lecture me really irk me.

By the way I don`t enjoy cooking or doing dishes, I plan to travel all over the world because I love it, budgeting is something I weirdly enjoy doing and obviously I am sticking around in a dumb relationship for a reason. I`m all grown up now and can make those decisions! Amazing, eh?

I happen to know the difference between good and bad choices. I am not a failure at life.

Me Not Being a Failure Examples:
1. Graduated from high school and university.
2. Full-time career with full benefits.
3. Financially stable for now and for the future, with no debt.
4. Own my own vehicle.
5. Travel whenever I have a stretch of time off.
6. I have amazing friends and family.

I do everything for a reason, just like I believe everything happens for a reason. If everything did not happen for a reason, I have had some pretty shitty things happen with no purpose. The moral of the story is to not ask me about my life or decisions just to then make me feel low about them. I will deal with the consequences when they come, if there even are any!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Punching is Preposterous

“The future depends on what we do in the present.” – Mahatma Gandi

I hate fighting. Physical or verbal, I don’t like it. It does not make anyone awesome. Even UFC, if you really think about it, looks like two sweaty guys having a rough, but intimate moment.

Reasoning of Unawesomeness:
1. Bleeding, bruising and sore muscles absolutely do not appeal to me. On myself or anyone else, not cool. Ugly.
2. It is completely moronic that someone is too lazy to come up with an alternate solution.
3. Head and back injuries are for life and if you get in a fight with the wrong person, you are royally screwed. Wheelchairs and drooling are not hot.
4. It is dumb.
5. It is illegal. It is assault. Criminal records are limiting. Limits for legal stuff blows.
6. It shows weakness in the ability to control anger and who wants to hang out with an angry person?
7. Plans have been cancelled and good times have been ruined because of it. That pisses me off because I don`t piss on their party! I am awesome like that though.
8. Hanging out in hospitals is a drag, unless you get a really sexy doctor or nurse. Rare, by the way.
9. Yeah, you gained respect, but only from losers.
10. I laugh when someone who starts a fight loses. It is HA-larious! Now you are super-duper!

Self-defense is a whole different story. I only agree with it though if you use only the force necessary. I am in a profession where violence is always possible and I have NEVER hurt a client because of force.

So forget fighting. Obviously I am pissed off at a specific incident or people I know who fight, but honestly I am sick of hearing about it. It actually disgusts me. Do fighters not realize that they have a lot to lose? Maybe they have nothing to lose.

The people in my life that fight though, you will lose me. You have a choice! If I`m not worth it, ``Fuck you, too``. :)

Thursday, April 21, 2011

To Leave or To Be Left?

I am most definitely one of the most indecisive freaks on this planet. Even when I make a choice I still hang around in case, for some reason, the circumstances change. By the way they never change, especially when it comes to relationships.

Break-ups are ridiculously hard. SOMEONE has to make the decision when they realize it just "isn't working out", but who? Sometimes only one person wants to run, while other times both people are ready to bail, but someone still has to start the conversation.

What is harder? Being dumped or dumping someone? I am going to identify some of the major points for each dumping situation.

1. You don't have to break their heart
2. You don't have to make a decision
3. You can think they are an undeserving asshole and state that they made "the biggest mistake of their life"
4. You don't have to come up with the cheesy or angry break-up speech
5. You feel self-conscious because you don't understand why they bailed
6. You were not prepared (even if you could see it coming like a cow sees an oncoming train but can't do anything about it...)
7. You have to deal with the consequences of your mistakes (if you made any, they may just not love ya.)
8. You can use your anger at them for dumping you for self improvement.
9. Your heart gets broken

1. You are in control
2. You can prepare yourself
3. You can have your rebound prepared
4. You can totally tear a strip off them if they were a prick
5. You can have your supports from family and friends set up in advance
6. You can do it in a safe place
7. You have to crush someones heart/soul
8. Still have to deal with your own heartache and insecurities

So actually I still have no clue which works for me. I have had a broken heart and broken hearts and I can honestly say I feel worse when I break up with someone else.

The DUMBEST part: The reason I feel the worst when I leave a relationship is that I HAD TO MAKE A BLOODY DECISION!

How pathetic is that??? Where do you stand? What do you believe? What other areas about a breakup did I miss?

"The Pity Party!"

According to Wiktionary, the definition of "flogging a dead horse" is "to attempt to get more out of something that cannot give more".

This refers mostly to my multiple failed relationships with the men I so poorly choose, but there are also many other areas that I vent about way past their due date.

1. Relationships Flaws
2. Ended Relationships
3. People Pissing Me Off
4. Arguements
5. Pet Peevs
6. Complete and Utter Idiots

I AM NOT PERFECT! I need to make that perfectly clear at this point. I do like to bitch, moan, and complain. Who doesn't!?! This is the place for me and I hope you can also join in on the vents and give me your imput.

The only shitty party is a pitty party, that is unless we are all involved in the mayhem! WELCOME TO THE PARTY!!!